One of the biggest challenges I face in my industry of personal development and total life success, is that people like to stay in the daydream. Everyone has dreams, but so many would rather just sit and wait for them to happen. My question is, how many years do you let slide before panic sets in ad you either give up, or desperately try to make up for lost time?
Daydreams can cost you weeks, years, even decades of your life. You can become disengaged with reality and the current moment. The lack of ability to live out a daydream can cause frustration, hopelessness, and break down self-esteem.
This is the way it works. Lose the dream and take on goals instead.
Goals empower, build confidence and satisfaction. Your goal might be identical to your original dream, the difference is it’s not up in the clouds. As a goal, your desired future has defined time, details of locations, numbers, weights, figures and concrete proof of completion.
Dreams don’t have a structure, they are like clouds.
Dreams (daydreams) are called that because it’s like you’re asleep. The thoughts you have are not in the moment, they take you away from your present environment so you are unaware of your surroundings, what is happening, what people are saying to you. They are fuzzy, maybe even illogical and soft. You zone out like a zombie. Nothing will ever be achieved from this state. You need to be engaged, aware and working for it to be true.
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Here are five steps you can take to bust the daydream and start making your desired future a reality right now.
The first thing you need to do to turn your daydream into reality is bring it back down to earth. High up in the clouds it’s just an idea. The more specific you get the more tangible a goal becomes and the easier it is to see the baby steps you can take right now, next week and next month to get that goal met.
Use as many numbers as you can, desired weights, how many days a week are you doing the activity you want or how many hours a day. Put time restrictions on your goal so that you are motivated to get started. See HOW TO MAKE A VISON BOARD for more ideas on how to set a goal in your mind.
Getting your dream to goal state can stir some emotions up.
There are imaginary threats present, rejection, humiliation, maybe even success and the ‘leaches’ that might come with that.
You might find that negative or limiting thoughts appear in your mind, that, ‘it’s not possible’, not worth it, too much work or maybe you don’t deserve it. Emotions might be wreaking havoc as well, fear, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, embarrassment. That’s fine, most people have this sensation, you might even panic.
The best thing you can do is get these emotions out. Usually, they don’t belong to you, you have picked up on the tracks of life or they were handed down through family, school, television, the possibilities of where these beliefs originate are endless but traceable. Usually, when you find the source of your fears, you’ll find it’s trivial or even laughable that this little event when you were five has held you back for so long.
To stay on track (and you should because you can do it and you are worth it) listen to my BELIEF BUSTER, talk to your coach or mentor, or at the very least, write your fears down and find how to let go, flip them over to be a strength or create an opportunity by getting creative. Worse case scenario is only in your head, there is a best case scenario too.
This is the number one reason people use daydreams and not goals. Goals are not comfortable. Your B.S comes up, and most people don’t like to look at that, so they press it down.
Here’s the thing, it has to come out somewhere at some point. You can’t hold it down forever and the pressure that builds up from constantly ignoring those feelings generate so much energy that when they rise up, it’s pretty ugly. Heart attack, cancer, physically lashing out at a loved one, breakdowns. This does not come from goals and effort towards success, it comes from repressing your shit.
We are not happy, we know that (that’s why we daydream, to escape the life we’re sitting in.) But we’re okay with that unhappiness, we know this, it’s familiar.
We become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
In order to get a goal met, we need to take a few risks. What those risks are is up to you, just so that you start to feel alive and capable, not like a zombie chained to someone else’s agenda.
What we need to do now is start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Push yourself to try new things, especially things you have always wanted to do but find excuses for or those things you always get someone else to do for you. For some people these can be small things, going to a party, going on a date, enrolling in a course, asking a stranger a question.
Know that it’s okay to step outside of your comfort zone and that tingling sensation of fear and nervousness means you are on the brink of discovering something amazing.
The more you do this the better you feel about it.
Most of the time our daydreams involve someone or something else magically providing assistance. A lottery win, a gift or romantic gesture from someone else. We have no control over these things in our lives. What we can control are our thoughts and actions. That’s all it takes to reach a goal.
Realising that you and you alone are responsible for designing your future gives you full authority and motivation to go out and get it.
As long as you leave your daydream in the hands of others, real or imagined, you will be adrift on the ocean without a compass, and you might not even realise it, until 25 years have flown by.
Go out and get help, have a coach, check your surrounding influences and connect with as many people as you need to but you are always the one using the skills and knowledge and building your way to your future.
The great part about this is you really appreciate the results and spend them well. Whatever your future goal earns you; finances, promotion, relationships, health or emotional satisfaction, you know what it’s worth and will treasure it.
For those who get things handed to them, well, look at the role of luck in your success to see how many lottery winners actually use their money well.
Dreams and goals are both inspiring and positive. However, without the work, no dream is going to transform into reality. You need to be physically, emotionally and mentally fit in order to live that future self. There are no short cuts here, you have to do the work. If you work smart, you can get to your goal much faster than expected.
Good news, you don’t have to achieve the whole goal at once. Break your goal down into tiny fragments and do part of it each day. It’s actually really easy when the pieces are specific so you can see where to get started, you muck is cleared out so you don’t have any internal distractions, your happy trying new things and rolling your sleeves up, in five years time that dream you had is no dream, you wake up in it and it’s yours.
Write yourself a list of things to do each day and be sure to include some goal steps, however small they may be on that list.
What skills do you lack? Find a way to fill these gaps.
What do you need to start doing? Just start doing it and always keep that big picture in mind to keep you focused and inspired to keep going and keep doing the work, no matter what.
Because you and your dream are worth it.
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