How do you make a New Year’s Resolution stick? You see, we are at that point in the year where we start to get sick of it all again. We are at the point where simply put, the unsuccessful people wind down, while the successful people wind up!
You know, nice warm weather reminds you that you ate too much and didn’t exercise like you planned over winter, yelling at your kids in public (again) reinforces that you have not learned the patience you promised them, you think, okay, I’m ready to take my business seriously, start a new diet and get my finances in check…after Christmas.
Of course, there’s no point doing anything before Christmas. There are the holidays, they mess up any work plans, food, lots of really great food, the kids are hyper and you spend more money than you have all year, in one week. So yeah, I know I probably need to address all my BS now, but after Christmas works better…
My question is, after Christmas when?
At what point in the year is it actually a good idea to lock in your goals and set some genuine boundaries about how you want to live your life?
Because any second now it will be next Christmas, then next Christmas and in five Christmas’s time, you are wondering how your life got to such a super shitty place.
What if you made your 2018 New Year’s Resolutions and actually made them stick?
Really. I want you to think about it because this is the rest of your life we are talking about. You get that, don’t you? What you do next is the rest of your life!
Think about how your next Christmas will be if you actually stuck to your goals, and really, really go into detail.
(Pause here with some thinking music)
Imagine, 12 months from now, you do everything you want to do the way you want to do it, how do you look and how do you feel about yourself when you follow through on your plans?
Okay, let’s get you there. I’m down if you’re down. I’m like a Ferrari waiting to go, you just need to put me in gear!
No, I’m really serious here because I want you to have that life, that really, really awesome life where you go, you know what, it’s really f’ing good being me. I love this.
Most people don’t follow through on their goals, even when their goals are right in front of them. New Years Resolutions fall through about 93% of the time. Usually, because it’s the wrong resolution or you are doing it for all the wrong reasons.
You need to like, better yet, love, your New Year’s goal.
Here are the steps you need to achieve a lovable goal.
1. Have a really good reason.
Often people get stuck on How they are going to change and What they are going to change. The most important question is Why do you want to change? The answer needs to be a heartfelt one. One that is deeply embedded in your personal values.
If you say, for example, that you want to be 10 kilos lighter so you look good, only, looking good is not one of your strong values, you need to search deeper for your why.
Maybe it’s not about losing weight at all, maybe your true goal is; I want to look after myself and love myself because I am respected and respectable. And in achieving that goal you will naturally lose weight.
If your values are about family, lose weight so you can keep up with your kids because you want to play with them.
This is all about finding the right motivation or leverage that will see your goal through to the end.
You’ll know when you hit the right one, it will feel good, give you tingles, have you nervous with anticipation or maybe get you teary.
2. Move towards your goal.
There are two directions you can go with goals. You can move towards something you like, or away from something you hate. Moving towards something you like is significantly more powerful because your attraction to it gets stronger the closer you get to it. Your motivation increases, your enthusiasm and excitement are strongest at the end.
Most people’s goals are away from. They don’t want to be fat, they don’t want to be broke, they don’t want to be disorganised. These goals start out strong because you are close to the thing you don’t like (being fat or broke) as you do the work and move away from that goal though, the pressure is off.
You might only be halfway to your goal, or even a quarter of the way but all of a sudden it’s not so bad. You’re not that fat, you’re not that broke, you’re not that disorganised. You relax, you fall back into old habits, you get back to being the thing you hate, and the cycle starts over.
If you need to use away from motivation to get you started that’s okay, you just need to have a positive and desired goal ready to take over your motivation as soon as you are on track. That way, you stay on the goal and generate positive attention as you get closer to home.
3. Bite-sized pieces.
Goals need to contain a certain amount of risk for them to be exciting. The only issue is then they can seem insurmountable. Break your goal up into sections. We call these milestones. Start at the end goal, what you want to achieve and when you want to achieve it by. Cut your goal and your timeframe in half, then into quarters as small as you like. For each of your milestones, decide what action you would like to take. Write this up in a calendar or planner.
For example, if your goal is to be 10 kilos lighter by December (in your head you say/on paper you write: it’s December and I am 10 kilos lighter, I now weigh… (write new weight), on your calendar for June you’d write 5 kilos lighter (and include your new weight), March you write 2.5 kilos lighter (and include your new weight). Where do you want to be halfway through February? All the way back to what you would like to take action on to get to your goal tomorrow.
When you break down your goal into Milestones and Action Items you make even the biggest goal possible.
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time!
4. Stay focused.
Most people try to take on too many goals and actions at once. It puts them in a position where their time and energy is fragmented. Create a vision board with a seven-year goal for where you want to be and how you want to be living. This way you can cover off all your goals in one place with the time and flexibility to address them one by one.
Pick your top-top goal and start working on that. If your goals complement each other you can sometimes double up without sabotaging each of them, however, I’d recommend that you set your maximum limit to three goals.
5. Shut down exit strategies.
Being accountable is probably the biggest hurdle when it comes to achieving your goals.
You have all sorts of tricks to get out of it. Cut off all exit strategies! Start by writing your goals down (you will anyway, to get your milestones). Goal writing sets it down as actual and creates a level of accountability.
Then tell everyone, tell everyone what your goal is!
Firstly, it gets you a support team, secondly, it makes it real. It’s a lot harder to quit when people know about it.
Lastly, surround yourself with like-minded people who are looking for the same results. Include in your circle people who have already achieved incredible success in what you are attempting and get yourself a coach or mentor who can hold you accountable on a fortnightly basis and help cut through any obstacles that may pop up along your journey.
6. There is no Failure, only Feedback.
Every bump in the road is simply a lesson to help you stay on track. Monitor your progress, congratulate yourself when you do well and ask constructive questions when you don’t take action or can’t complete a milestone. Get curious, innovative, and playful with your strategies and detours. Every step is a valuable life lesson, not just for this goal, but for every one of them that follows.
That will set you up for a really stunning New Year, or you may be motivated to actually get going now and be well on your way by the time Christmas hits.
The most important thing is that you are not alone on your journey. There are people around you all the time who know how to help and want the very best for you. I want the best for you. I can prove it, I actually can prove it. Just spend one weekend with me in a room of people just like you, and let’s clear some old crap out, and bring in some tools and plans that can get you moving. In one weekend we can plot your goals and give you the courage and understanding to go for it.
I’d also love to share with you my Five Steps to Rapid change- if you follow these steps I guarantee that you will get everything you aim for and more.
I’m a man of action, I learn best by actually doing things and practising them in the real world. For me, being told, ‘this is how you change your life’ isn’t good enough, which is why I based my Live it Now weekend on the Five Steps to Rapid Change where I walk you through (and you actually do) all of the five steps in the room so you don’t just know in theory how to change your life, you actually do it.
Think of it as your 2018 Christmas present to yourself, you’ll get to Christmas next year and think, wow, I just had the greatest year, then you’ll say, “Thanks Matt” to yourself.
You are very, very welcome.
Now, let’s go change something and have some fun!
PO Box 590,
MANLY NSW 1655 AUSTRALIA
1800 552 168