Earlier this year, Brandon Wescott joined us on a course in turmoil, and desperately seeking a healthy relationship with his mother. Family relations had often been strained over the years, and he knew it was time to get his life back on track.
In the weeks before attending Live It Now, he had lost his job, crashed his uninsured car which wiped his savings, and had a falling out with his mother that left him homeless.
“My lowest point, Brandon says, is the day I had to sneak back into Mum’s house to steal some food. I was that hungry.” Once Brandon committed to himself, he turned his situation around…
“My relationship with my mother had followed the same pattern my whole life. Having grown up with not having much in the Philippines and working hard to live the life we live now I see now that all she really wanted was the best for me.
“Unfortunately that came across as controlling. Her model of the world was the only way, but it was not the path I wanted to take. Despite everything I did to try and please her I felt it wasn’t good enough for her standards.”
You see, relationship problems often stem from the fact that we’re on someone else’s agenda instead of being on our own agenda. Our families and friends love us and want the best for us but often this comes at the expense of what we really want because they want us to be safe. This can cause relationship problems when we start to follow our own path.
“Almost everything I did was an act of rebellion for my own freedom and to find my place in the world, whether that would be ending up in the principal’s office, sneaking out late at night when I was underage or dropping out of college.
“I would bottle it up so much, but as Matt says at Live it Now, it was like holding a beach ball under water, eventually we would both explode, and I would end up in boarding school or kicked out of home.”
To form healthy relationships we need to learn how to communicate with the people we love, in a way they will understand. We can do this by establishing rapport through a process known as ‘matching and mirroring’ so we can speak their language.
“My Live it Now breakthrough was discovering how to let my mum into my model of the world, showing her what I wanted to achieve in life and why I wanted to achieve it, and how I was going to get there.
“Rather than letting my ego control me and try to prove my mum wrong, I’ve invited her to help me along the way, as I have realised life is not about blazing your own trail as you climb the mountain, but taking the people that you love on that journey with you, and living those moments with them every step of the way.
“Because of this connection we have made I get to be me around my own family more, and it’s brought so much emotional juice back into my life! Right now I have the privilege of working from my own home as I design a plan to make sure this is the lifestyle I live, and my mum is totally invested. I feel free, much more aware, and empowered in my own life.
“My mum understands who I am now, even if it took 23 years to get here!”
We’re all so proud of Brandon and the breakthrough he made at Live it Now. Through hard work and commitment he has turned his life around, and the most important relationship in his life, the one with his mother, is now a healthy relationship that is benefiting the whole family.
If it’s time for you to forge strong family relations, join us at one of our upcoming Live it Now events.
Thank you for reading,
Matt Catling – Your Future Now
PO Box 590,
MANLY NSW 1655 AUSTRALIA
1800 552 168