If you want to build a healthy relationship, the first thing you need to do is create a healthy relationship with yourself!
You see, everyone we meet is like a giant mirror. What we see in someone else, we see in ourselves. This is for both the good and the bad. If someone triggers us, we know there is something we need to resolve internally. Likewise if we see something special in someone, we have that inside ourselves as well.
All relationships have ups and downs, whether they’re romantic, friends, family, even business. Whether a relationship is just starting out, or has been evolving over years, there are strategies we can use to help nurture it.
In this article, we’re going to look at how to build a healthy romantic relationship, making sure your love-tank is full and your needs are met.
Falling in love is an intuitive human action. You feel that the other person likes you and you in turn like the other person which leads to a mutual romantic relationship. It’s the little things that add up to one big thing: love.
Being in love is of course amazing. But feeling loved is more divine.
Do both the partners feel that they are loved? That is where the bond of belonging and being obliged to each other has to stand the test of time. The emotional bond should be strong enough to make both the partners feel loved, feel wanted.
The way for both partners to feel loved is by having their unconscious needs met. When this happens, your love tank will be full, and you can give yourself fully to the relationship.
There are Five Love Languages, but sadly most people have never heard of them!
When you understand your love language, and the love language of your partner, you have the blueprint to build a healthy relationship.
Be respectful when you disagree with your partner. Talk to your partner calmly and try to sort things out with compassion. Do not be afraid of arguments. Listen to them attentively and understand the situation that your partner was or is in.
Ask open questions that begin with words like ‘how’ or ‘what.’
Avoid asking questions that start with ‘why’ as this is a trigger word for most people. Leading with ‘why’ can have people feel like they are being interrogated, and automatically puts their defensive shield up.
So rather than asking ‘why do you never listen to me’ try asking a question like ‘how can we work together to communicate better?’
Both partners need to keep their social life and other relationships healthy to maintain a healthy emotional relationship. Both partners will have external relationships, many of which will have started before the romantic relationship.
Relationships like those with your family, friends and work colleagues are those that have made you the people you are today. That is also the reason why you two love each other so much and have a healthy relationship. Both partners must share these relationships and nurture them.
Communicating frankly and openly goes a long way in strengthening a relationship. Do not be afraid to confide in your partner your needs, desires and feelings. If there are any disagreements, they should be sorted out amicably using the DISC Personality Type communication strategies.
Being frank with your partner builds a feeling of trust your partner. This can immensely increase your sense of feeling loved and will go a long way towards building a healthy relationship.
Today a lot of our communication with our partners is done via text messages and emails.
Take time from your work or your electronic gadgets and talk to your partner personally, especially if their Love Language is Quality Time!
Every day, have some dedicated ‘no phone’ time where you make eye contact and talk about something other than the kids, work, or trivial annoyances.
It doesn’t have to be hours, it can be as little as five minutes.
Share a story, a memory, something that made you laugh. When you open up your feelings and experiences and share the real you, you give your partner more of you to fall in love wth.
Spend quality time with your partner like doing something together that you both love. It may be a hobby that is common to you both or it may be a walk in the park. Find time in the morning to talk to your partner over a cup of coffee.
Try something that both of you haven’t done before. You will both get to discover the joys of a new adventure together. It could be as simple as going hiking or camping, an activity that both of you wouldn’t dare try alone.
You can do this no matter your partners love language. If they are ‘Acts of Service’ then organise the picnic lunch. If they are Gifts, pop a little something extra in their bag that you think they will like. Be creative, and have fun!
Having spent some together you will be able to gauge the mood of your partner from unspoken expressions and gestures.
Also, watch their body language.
Knowing what a partner wants and doesn’t goes a long way toward satisfying them and building a relationship that lasts.
Touching is an integral part of human communication. Keep physical intimacy alive. That alone will go a long way in keeping your relationship healthy and making it stronger.
Touching is a strong way of communication and you can tell your partner more with a delicate touch than with a torrent of words. It is an intimate way of communication and plays an important part in relationships.
Be prepared for ups and downs. There are bound to be differences between two people who love and care for each other. Settle the differences through discussions and don’t bring past arguments into the fray when discussing differences.
In a healthy relationship, both the partners must learn to give and take. Understand that your relationship is at stake and you gain nothing by standing firmly by your viewpoint. Understand what is important to your partner and try to understand their point of view.
Never make winning an argument with your partner at any cost, your goal. If someone ‘wins’ an argument then naturally someone else ‘loses’ and in this case, the person who loses is the person you love.
If you’re ready to build a healthy relationship then The Mindset and Relationship Accelerator with The Soulmate Coach Miranda Claire is for you!
Once or twice a year we open this course to a small group of people for a six-week face to face and virtual mastermind group that will help you release any limiting beliefs and negative emotions that have been holding you back in your relationships.
Learn how to transform your relationships and attract new relationships with The Mindset and Relationship Accelerator!
PO Box 590,
MANLY NSW 1655 AUSTRALIA
1300 997 669